Now that the layoff has started to sink in, I’m turning my attention to what comes next. A retreat in Bali? Walking the Camino de Santiago? Volunteering on a permaculture farm in Costa Rica?

Just kidding. Louis, my partner, is still working full time, we have a five-month-old puppy, and I’m actively looking for my next role. This is not a vacation!

That said, I am looking forward to a long overdue nervous system reset. Just a few months ago, my father became very ill and passed away. I stepped in to care for him and act as his medical advocate during his final weeks. We had a hard, complicated relationship, and that experience took a lot out of me emotionally.

After his passing, I was left to manage his hoarder condo and prepare it for sale. Louis and I worked day and night around our full-time jobs to clear, clean, repair, and coordinate contractors. May and June were incredibly difficult, both physically and emotionally.

The emotional shift between that chaos and the quieter space I’m in now has felt jarring at times. I set myself impossibly high standards for achieving, so to have this much time and freedom is unfamiliar, eerie and uncomfortable. My instinct is to throw myself into something new and fill the space completely, but I’m lucky to have people around me who gently remind me to pause. I don’t owe anyone anything right now. This time can be a rare gift to breathe and reset.

My job for now is to make peace with not being in full sprint mode. To find calm and contentment with where and who I am. To become intentional about how I move forward.

One thing that’s been helping is my new role as an ambassador at my yoga studio. I help out around the space in exchange for classes, which allows me to stay active, feel connected, and process grief—both from losing my father and from saying goodbye to a career I cared deeply about. It feels good to be in service to others and to be part of such a warm and welcoming community.

I’m also thinking a lot about how to use this time to invest in myself. I want to continue learning, but only in ways that truly align with where I’m heading next. I want any education I pursue to feel purposeful, relevant, and engaging.

Some of the ideas I’m considering:

• Taking targeted certificate or diploma programs, like Prosci or Cornell’s Organizational Design
• Returning to Royal Roads University to supplement my Master of Arts with a Bachelor’s degree in Interdisciplinary Studies (since I don’t have an undergrad)
• Exploring free or low-cost courses that will teach me exactly what I want to know, even if they don’t add much to a resume

More than anything, I want to use this time to reflect on what I’ve built over the last ten years, and especially the last five. I’ve found discipline and maturity in health, finances, and relationships, and matured into someone I respect and am proud of. I’ve shown strength, adaptability, and compassion as I’ve navigated grief, change, and uncertainty.

This year seems to be all about clearing physically, emotionally, and mentally. These big life changes are making room for something new, even if I don’t yet know what that is. It feels equal parts uncomfortable and full of possibility, and I’m choosing to be optimistic that the work I’ve put in will culminate in something amazing very soon!